Cloud Banter

Oof, loaded question, or nah?

When you – an entrepreneur with a big vision and an even bigger heart – decided to start your own business, what was your “why”? Maybe you wanted to get rich and retire early. Maybe you couldn’t stand your 9-5 and thought running a business would give you more freedom (spoiler alert: it doesn’t… at least not right away). Or maybe, like so many of us, you felt deeply inspired to solve an important problem and make the world just a little bit better.

Maybe you even wanted to change the world in a BIG way! Whatever your reason, you knew one thing for sure: you had to start somewhere. So you took the leap. You trusted your idea, your skills, and most importantly, yourself, to bring something meaningful to life.

You saw a need. A gap. A little piece of the world that wasn’t quite right. And instead of waiting for someone else to fix it, you said, “Why not me?” Maybe you thought, “I love doing this, I’m good at it, and I know others will love it too. So let’s go for it. Let’s bring this thing into the world, make some money, and maybe gain some freedom along the way.”

At its core, that’s what running a business is about. As entrepreneurs, we’re all trying to build something that reflects our personal vision of a better world. That drive to help, to give, to serve—it’s what lights the fire under so many of us.

But here’s the real talk: Are you running your business like a business? Or is it starting to feel more like a charity?

On top of all that, if you identify as a person of color, as a woman, as an immigrant, or as a minority in an industry where you may not get access to a lot of opportunities, resources, money, or knowledge – it really makes every opportunity matter SO much. It might be hard to value yourself because you don’t see people like you doing what you’re doing, so you may not even know WHAT you’re worth.

Also, the people who DO have that historical knowledge may not be open to talking about it or sharing, so it’s kind of hard to figure out how to be successful. I was really cocky at first when I started my company, Make It Mariko, thinking that the way that I was charging was better than what these other agencies were doing. “They’re totally overcharging for their services,” I used to think (LOL).

Now that I’m 9 years into running my business I have a much different reality. I laugh at my naivete back then because I really thought that I knew better. I totally understand now why all of those agencies charged the way they did because it is incredibly hard to do the kind of mission-driven, values-aligned work that we do AND be profitable. The math just doesn’t math. But it is “feeds the soul” kind of work for sure.

I’m so grateful that I get to build such beautiful, meaningful spaces through all the communities we’ve built like Make It Mariko, UNDISCOVERED SF, Pinayista, POC Food & Wine, and Weddings In Color. We’re really charting new territories and creating spaces that never existed before. We’re really creating brave new spaces out here.

But buyers beware – as you are charting new territory, get ready for difficult challenges to arise, as is the case with newness.

You will learn difficult lessons.
You will be tested.
You will be challenged.
You will fall.
You will fail.
You will cry.
You will also LOVE.
You will laugh.
You will sing.
You will dance.
You will cry some more.
You will build.

This is the life of a values-aligned, mission-driven, creative entrepreneur.

Now imagine all of the hardship of entrepreneurship, and add on the pressure of perfectionism from your Asian parents or immigrant families. It’s a really hard place to be, but we navigate and do our best. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, about 20% of businesses fail within the first year, and by the end of the fifth year, around 50% have closed. Only 30% of businesses make it to their 10th year.

Make It Mariko celebrates our 10 year anniversary this December, and over the years I’ve learned to ask myself some really critical questions in order to continue learning, developing, and growing as a business.

Here are a few critical questions that I had to ask myself:

Do you get paid? Is it enough? No really, just be honest with yourself, because so many business owners are not paying themselves, and that’s normal for them.
Are you prioritizing other people’s wellness over your own?
Are you prioritizing your clients’ satisfaction over your own wellness?
Are you constantly trying to help clients, as opposed to providing a service for them?
Are you constantly accepting work for less than your rate?
How often are you giving discounts? Why?
Do you know what your rate should be, and how your rate compares in your industry?
Are you constantly struggling to increase your rate out of fear of leaving some people behind or losing business?
Are you actually looking at your PNL?
Do you know what a PNL is?
Do you actually know how profitable you are as a business? What is your profit margin? What is the average profit margin for your industry?
Do you have a goal for how much money you want to profit at the end of the year in order to hit growth goals for next year?
What are your growth goals for next year?
Are you paying yourself? (gotta keep asking)
Are you operating out of a place of abundance or a place of scarcity and fear?

Phew, I know that was a lot. Do you feel triggered by these questions? If no, congrats you’re probably doing well and this blog is not for you. If yes, then keep reading.

👉 Subscribe to The Mariko Method on Substack

What Is Your Goal As a Business?

If you realize that the main goal you want to achieve with your business IS to be charitable and you want to raise money to donate towards good causes or create programs for charity, then this is a really amazing piece of knowledge because now you know exactly what it is you want to be! And the answer might be that you should be running a nonprofit or charity instead. With that route you can get tax benefits, you can accept tax deductible donations, and you can get grant funding.

So it’s really important to ask these questions! We shouldn’t be ashamed to ask and maybe discover that we’re intending to run a business, but in reality we’re running it like a charity. I literally was just doing that until very recently.

And to be fair, I shouldn’t say “you shouldn’t be ashamed” as you should feel whatever you want to feel. Because I honestly WAS ashamed of myself. I was incredibly ashamed when my business wasn’t profitable and I was hardly paying myself. I’m a strong, overachieving Capricorn woman – and full transparency – I was used to being the breadwinner in my family since I worked at Google for 7 years. (My husband btw is not threatened by me at all. He likes his teacher job.) So when I had to do our monthly finances and ask my husband to pay more each month and get a loan from my parents because I only had $100 in my bank account at the time, I felt like a huge failure.

I also felt like I proved my immigrant parents right, and that maybe I should have stayed at that safe, cushy tech job. Then ironically enough, I also felt shame about feeling that shame! What the fuck Gina. Freaking shame spiral over here. (face palm).

Sidenote: I’ve since had amazing convos with my mom to help release this fear and she has instead validated her forever pride in me 🙂

Anyway, back to the critical questions. I almost forgot the most important question that I’m learning these days:

“When I become a highly profitable, successful business…” (I say ‘when’, not ‘if’ because we’re manifesting over here), “…and my company is employing a bunch of amazing people who are passionate about the work they do, I can spend quality time with my family, and can get actual rest…will I be able to accept this wealth? Do I believe I deserve it?

“Do you believe that you deserve money” is probably the most important question you need to ask yourself as a values-aligned entrepreneur. Because for many of us, the answer is probably no.

The one year that Make It Mariko was really profitable was ironically during the pandemic because we got SO good at producing virtual events and had amazing SEO and referrals and worked our asses off to keep the company alive! The moment I realized how much I was going to profit that year I felt this initial wave of shame go through me. For some reason, I felt guilty.

I immediately decided to donate $25K to charity, and I split up my donation between key nonprofits in SOMA Pilipinas. Don’t get me wrong, I regularly donate to nonprofits every year and have done so for the past 16 years. I actually really enjoy making my donation decisions at the end of the year to causes that I really care about and want to contribute to like The Trevor Project, SOMA Pilipinas, and more. When I worked at Google I got all my donations matched for double impact, so that felt really good.

For many people in my generation (Xennials) who were raised by immigrant parents from another country, we’re taught to work hard for money, but often have beliefs that it’s dirty or bad and tied to selfishness or greed.

If you’re working so hard to receive wealth, you need believe you deserve it first.

And we do! Every human deserves to live and thrive in joy in this world. Because wealth is money yes, but wealth is also health, spirit, energy, resources, and LOVE. I’m so fucking wealthy in love and community and I feel so grateful for this every single day.

My Next Entrepreneur Journey

So, do I regret how I’ve run, grown, and nurtured Make It Mariko these past tough years? Not even a little. I’m endlessly proud of the communities we’ve created and connected. But let’s be real – it’s not a sustainable way to run a business.

That’s why I’m envisioning a new way of thinking for myself. A new way of being. A new way of building community.

Enter Brave New Spaces.

Brave New Spaces is my next chapter in community organizing work – a 501c3 nonprofit born from 15 years of community organizing, joyful rebellion, and trying to create for the next generation what I didn’t have for myself. It’s time to build a model that supports visionary, values-aligned leaders while helping us break free from the myth that we have to burn ourselves out to make a difference.